Thought #351

Breakthroughs, by their nature, are sudden. The work can feel hard, and there can be dips in morale, feeling, performance and progress can feel limited, but as long as the overall trajectory is up, then progress is being made.

Time, effort, patience as the wall is chipped away gradually – sometimes with tools, sometimes with bare hands.

Then, when the wall crumbles down, and the light comes through, it is a case of stepping forwards and harnessing the new abilities gained.

Thought #350

My feelings were gone, yet again they
Occur for no real reason, and then I am
Vividly recalling parts of what I had
Even though it is long gone and dead.

Onwards I must go, I
Need to let this all go, again.

Thought #348 and #349

Why is it that outdoor adventures, walk leading and navigation cross over so nicely onto my daily work, my craft? Is it because both feature building and leading a crew, tackling challenging terrain (sometimes against the clock), braving changing elements or market conditions, crafting a path that gets me and my crew through to our final destination, managing said crew.

Regardless, it is is a good way of levelling up. Onwards. Upwards. Forever.

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Even after a long duration, a duration that will soon be longer than the relationship itself that I had, I find myself missing elements of said relationship. Even when things are in writing, even when said person is no longer same said person, when I am no longer the same person, all is gone, all being ashes, I still at times find myself thinking back to it.

I reckon it’s because it was excellent in its own right and because in some ways, due to being deep in the abyss, stumbling through my diving suit, I have not had the opportunity to supersede it.

Yet I will have to, to move onwards and upwards, to find someone else who I can embrace, who I can be an effective team with, someone that I can decide to hold on to and commit to despite the optionality presented in this world.

I have a feeling that when this happens, it will happen slowly, then quickly like the slight trickle of snow before it becomes an avalanche or the first sun’s rays turning into full-on dawn.

Getting there.

Thought #347

Lessons from lifting a heavy kettlebell:

Sometimes, all you need is a bit more space. Persistence in the face of adversity helps too.

Getting up. Getting there.

Thought #346

You miss all the shots you don’t take.
Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
Delayed gratification pays off.

So it seems that once more, I will don my suit to go hunting for big-game in the deep, blue sea (or more like purple in this case). Key to this is reframing this positively – it is a means to de-risk what I do, to ensure I succeed.

Because of this, this time it feels exciting, which is a positive.

Ups/downs to be expected, but it’ll be worthwhile.

Thought #345

Reprogramming after a year of feeling at risk is a bit odd. Even though one risk is (nearly) gone, it still casts a shadow other moves I want to make, and oddly enough, I’d rather work on minimizing that shadow and maintaining my status quo, because my status quo is (sort of) enough.

But I know I can’t say in the status quo, and need to move beyond it.
All whilst still taking an element of risk, and feeling like there’s more at stake.

Yet I do know that I have built relationships, moved places whilst doing what I do. So now, it’s just another case of leveling myself up and giving these two other aspects my best shot whilst doing what I do on a daily basis.

I’ll get there. Exercise Thought #344.
Onwards and Upwards, Pilot.

Thought #344

Whilst reprogramming, exercise patience, but still press on forwards: directed activity towards a goal, coupled with a degree of surrender should allow for different possibilities to emerge, coalesce, be spotted/present themselves, and lead to desired outcome.

Applying this across multiple fronts is the tricky bit – most times you need to focus on a specific one whilst ensuring the others are maintained and progressed a bit less. Seasonality in life is a thing.

I’ll get there.

Thought #343

Reprogramming is key, and always seems easier as Autumn draws nearer.

Specifically, Reprogramming for Reset.

Thought #342

Closure is best achieved in writing.