The subconscious is perhaps a hidden garden beneath my mental field,
one in which lie many different kinds of seeds<
whose growth is triggered by assorted factors
leading to wants and needs.
The flowers that grow, the fruit they bear
I cannot know till they grow,
yet I must care and be aware
of the signs that do show.
Already I can till the fields
and grow that which I desire
satisfying wants and needs.
my mind is a tree,
each leaf a thought,
falling down into the stream
carried by the current
past the rocks
where I sit
to observe them
as they go along.
(first whilst running, second from mindfulness meditation)
are Long Days
Bucketloads of Fun.
There Are Many Things
that can be Done.
Any Day –
It’s up to Me
to find the Fun,
Yet I must not forget
that Sadness is not
something to be outrun.
In actual fact
will come and go,
as do moods and feelings
changing like the weather
this I have come to know,
as I pilot my boat of being
through the sun, rain, fog or snow –
all part of the experience
this finite show.
Sitting on the pavement
thinking of workarounds outside my house door
recognizing that it is up to me to make this better, get it done
explaining to the person who pulled up to ask if I’m OK that I’m just “thinking”
seeing capillary tubes and patch clamps, thinking “if it can be done to cells then why not?”
sleeplessness, the gears constantly turning.
It’s a bit like a vice,
that tightens during the night,
releases during the day as I work on what needs to be done
to tighten again as I pedal home
Denies me the joy of weekends, training, fun
because part of me refuses to let things go undone.
Yet the other part feels I shouldn’t yield,
knows that there is always more
to be done.
Wheels will turn, progress be made
and when the time comes
I can rest in the shade,
take in the view
and then rise up
to start anew.
System does what a System does
System does what It has to do.
You may care about the System,
but the System
doesn’t care about You.
Working towards a PhD is a bit like having a dragon.
Some think of them as things that live far away from them, and are somewhat mystical. So they never adopt one.
Others may have ventured further and even come close to them whilst exploring the woods and valleys of Knowledge, but think they’re better left alone.
A number will approach the dragon head-on and attempt to break it in, and get burnt in the process. They may succeed, but the dragon is not the same, and neither are they.
And then there are those who will work with it, learn about what and when it requires attention, time and commitment. At times the dragon may snap its jaws or reveal sharp claws, and more often than not the student will walk away with a few scrapes and bruises, part of the learning process.
This dragon grows in strength and capability, and so do they.
Then, on one somewhat ordinary day, the dragon unfurls its wings, and if the student is so inclined he can scramble onto its back to take in sights anew, marvel at the view and travel to fantastic lands.
It does not matter if not – not all may want to fly dragons of this type, and there are many other beasts to work with. The knowledge may not be fully transferable, but the approach to working with them is.
Dérailleurs allow for greater gear combinations and hence more effective speed. The more gears you have the greater the variety of terrain you can tackle without tiring out your legs.
But the chains get thinner, as do the spaces between the gears, and more maintenance is required, lest you introduce the chances of mechanicals.
Maybe I should just single-speed most things.
Life is a series of rollers, doubles and tabletops which cannot be avoided, combined with the tightest of berms and the gnarliest roots.
I must do my best to focus on the trail – I have yet to learn how to pump it effectively, but am getting there – flow will come in time.
It’s mostly black, but there are blue segments and fire road mixed in for variety.
I just wish it was flat at times, and smooth, so that I can build up speed – I’ll make the most of the climbs and descents for now.